empathic

counseling & psychotherapy

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empathic

counseling and psychotherapy

At the core of happiness is the ability to feel comfortable in your own skin. By the time you’ve gotten to this website, you’ve probably experienced a fair amount of self-doubt and self-criticism. Having low self-esteem can make you feel like you’re unworthy, incapable and incompetent. It can affect your relationships, your work, your mood-nearly every aspect of your life. Sound Familiar?

Lindsay Melka, LPC Counseling Denver CO


Hi, I’m Lindsay. I’m a psychotherapist, but you may also call me a self-esteem igniter, failed-relationship investigator, expert problem-solver or a specialist in connection.

 

Negative self-talk can get in the way of you leading the happy and fulfilling life you deserve. Find a way to stop beating yourself up and release yourself from self-doubt. This can help you realize your full potential.  Together, we can explore what it means to accept yourself more freely and deeply, while working towards building healthier relationships and feeling better about yourself so you can live a more satisfying and enjoyable life. 


I know from my own personal journey, and from helping men and women across the country, that with some courage (you made it here) and help from a therapist, anyone can feel what it’s like to feel truly connected and accepted.


I believe learning to let yourself off the hook and having a good sense of humor can change the world. If you’re struggling with figuring out relationships, yes, even that one with yourself, then schedule a free consultation today.


Hi, I’m Lindsay. I’m a psychotherapist, but you may also call me a self-esteem igniter, failed-relationship investigator, expert problem-solver or a specialist in connection.

 

Negative self-talk can get in the way of you leading the happy and fulfilling life you deserve. Find a way to stop beating yourself up and release yourself from self-doubt. This can help you realize your full potential. Together, we can explore what it means to accept yourself more freely and deeply, while working towards building healthier relationships and feeling better about yourself so you can live a more satisfying and enjoyable life. 


I know from my own personal journey, and from helping men and women across the country, that with some courage (you made it here) and help from a therapist, anyone can feel what it’s like to feel truly connected and accepted.


I believe learning to let yourself off the hook and having a good sense of humor can change the world. If you’re struggling with figuring out relationships, yes, even that one with yourself, then schedule a free consultation today.

Lindsay Melka, LPC Counseling Denver CO

Recent Blog Posts

Recent Blog Posts

October 7, 2016
Lindsay Melka

New to a City and Lonely ?

 

Lonely in a Crowd

Just moved to a new city? Maybe you’ve been here a little while and feel a little lonely. Maybe you’ve been here a few years and are still feeling like a newcomer. Whatever the case, I can tell you, you are not alone.  “Everybody” knows that “everybody” is moving here…has moved here, whatever. So if there are so many people, there should be so many people to hang out with, right? Life should be filled with all the amazing stuff  people do, right? You know, like snowboarding or going to the beach followed by cocktail hour followed by dinner with a huge group of amazing friends followed by a romantic walk home with an amazing new partner. Right?

You are not AloneLonely in Denver, Lindsay Melka, Denver CO

Not necessarily. That’s actually not how it is for everyone. And more importantly, that’s totally normal and okay.

I’ve only been here a few years myself and I can tell you that during this time I have seen several, lots of clients actually, that feel lonely, discouraged and frustrated with the whole thing. Little do they know, that there are tons, TONS, of people out there feeling the exact same way.

So what happens when we feel out of the loop? Well, we typically feel lost, disconnected, lonely and bored. So what can we do about it?

To start, we don’t have to have lots of relationships to feel connected and a part of. Having meaningful relationships is important, yes, but there are things we can do in the meantime to help us feel present, safe and connected.

How do we do this?

  • We change our perspective

Having alone time in a new place can be refreshing and exciting. Discovering new places keeps us in the moment. We can learn about ourselves through what brings us joy. You may discover that with a fresh pair of eyes, you see something you’ve never seen before.

  • We hang out at public places, even by ourselves.

Go to a coffee shop and work or read a book. Go to a movie. I go to movies pretty often and I always see people on their own. And guess what? They always look happy! How about a museum? The Botanical Gardens? A wolf sanctuary? Point is, being around others, even if we’re not technically engaged in conversation, can help us feel a part of. Did you know that it’s common to go to a nice restaurants and offer to share your table with another single guest? Yes, it’s true. I spent 10 years in the restaurant industry and I always thought this was the best idea! Single people love it! One more thing on restaurants-it can feel luxurious and comforting to get a nice meal alone. Bring a book, sit back and treat yourself.

  • We check out meet-up groups.

We can type in any hobby, interest, activity etc. on meetups.com and instantly find a group of like-minded people who are interested in the same things. There’s literally a meet-up group for everything. Many of my clients have found these groups to be beneficial. It’s great because most individuals looking for meet-ups are in the same boat. There’s no need to feel singled out!

  • We stay in contact with friends and family.

It can get lonely in a new place and hearing familiar voices can remind us of who we are and why we’re here. It’s okay to feel scared and lonely in a new city. There is no need to act as if you are on top of the world. Chances are, however you got here, it was for good reason. Give yourself some time and be patient with yourself. How would you help a friend?

Next time you’re feeling lonely or anxious about your new abode, remind yourself that that this is part of the process. Chances are you’ll look back in a few years (months even) and realize how important this phase of life was. We don’t see growth while it’s happening, but are always better for it. Maybe someday you can be a newbie’s new friend. Show them the ropes and empathize with their experience because, well, you will have gotten through it.

 

Lonely in Denver, Lindsay Melka LPC Empathic Counseling and Therapy Denver

Lindsay Melka, LPC

Empathic Counseling and Therapy


If you connected with this post and would like to speak with me please call 720-295-5490 or contact me here.

August 7, 2016
Lindsay Melka

Self-Esteem Building: Be Comfortable In Your Own Skin

 

Where Does Self-Esteem Begin?

 

Feel comfortable in your own skin...We’ve all heard the phrase, but what’s wrong with our skin? I’m all about visualization, but if you really think about this one, it’s kind of gross! This saying is clearly a metaphor for being comfortable with who you are. You know, really liking ourselves, feeling confident and secure. So why is building self-esteem so hard?

 

 

We constantly compare our insides to other people’s outsides

 

We don’t feel like we fit in with the people we surround ourselves with

 

It's easy to feel like we don't belong

 

Media is a constant reminder of how great everyone else’s life is (btw, so not accurate!)

 

We embarrassed ourselves at some previous time in our life, and continue to fear this happening again.

 

 

There are many reasons why we don’t feel secure with who we are.

 

 

Why is so difficult to focus on our strengths?

 

1. Our brains are really good at creating patterns and habits. When you try to insert a new thought, emotion or behavior, its first function is to resist it.

 

2. A lot of us believe that if we focus on our failures or the characteristics we don’t like about ourselves, we will be reminded not to act/think this way in the future.

 

3. Negative experiences pose a threat of danger. We see potential seclusion, “differentness” as a threat to our lives. Really!

 

 

So what builds self-esteem?

 

Learn to befriend that inner critic of yours. Your worst enemy belongs to you.

 

Identify the negative self statements and ask yourself “would I talk to a friend this way?”

 

Practice self-compassion. See how you were able to practice compassion in #2? Talk nice to yourself!

 

Remind yourself that nobody’s perfect. Everyone that you compare yourself to has flaws too. Some of those people may actually think you’re pretty great.

 

Take a breath and ask yourself. “What do I appreciate about myself?” Really think about this one. It’s important.

 

 

It's OK to be who you are!

 

Most of us, at some time or another, feel uncomfortable in our own skin. Just like you created a habit of self-doubt and insecurity, you can create a habit of self-love and self-compassion. You can learn to identify real danger from perceived danger. You can learn to love that evil bully in your head and make him or her your buddy. It’s time to be nice to yourself. You’re the only self you’ve got!

 

Lindsay Melka LPC Empathic Counseling and Therapy Denver

Lindsay Melka, LPC 

Empathic Counseling and Therapy